Berlin trip a different experience – the ‘funny’ part
How I ended up in a porn star’s apartment and got familiarised with the German XXX industry
As I told the story of my first day in Berlin in the post Berlin trip a different experience, I realised the first day wasn’t as bad as the next. Even though it wasn’t what I expected I certainly didn’t foresee what was about to happen.
My friend was supposed to leave on Friday morning back to Manchester to be at the office. That meant I had to go meet the Couch Surfing (CS) guy, which I will call D, who agreed to be my host for 2 nights. So after the conference we thought we should meet him for a coffee to see if he is a nice person or not. My friend didn’t want to leave me all alone with some stranger.
The Pornstar meeting
We met D. Friday night and he seemed like a good normal guy. On the Couch Surfing website he had about 15 recommendations from girls so it was a great reference. He was a music teacher, travelled a lot in the past few years and now was saving money for another trip to Latin America.
All good right?? Wrong! Friday morning I met him at his apartment. After a bit of work and rest he offered to show me the Berlin Wall and the Bundestag but we only had to make a small pit stop at the doctors. He said he has to do some blood tests for his other job.
Fair enough I thought to myself while asking what exactly is this other job. He only told me when we got to a dodgy part of East Berlin, where the doctor’s cabinet was a small 1 bedroom apartment: He was a German porn star! :O
Shock? Yes! Fear while the man in the apartment kept asking me in German if I want to play in the next movie on Saturday? Hell yeah! Apparently, my CS host played in over 200 movies in Germany and he is working with some of the best XXX agencies in Berlin.
After we left the “doctor’s cabinet” he kept saying that he had sex with over 400 women and that everyone falls in love with him. To keep the conversation flowing he said we should go on Saturday night in Kit Kat club. But for me to get in I had to wear fishnet stockings, extremely high heels and basically be topless as per his suggestions.
Admittedly Kit Kat club is one of those Berlin clubs where anything can happen and it certainly isn’t for the faint hearted.
But when you just find out that your German pornstar host wants to take you to a quirky Berlin club semi-naked you tend to freak out.
Run, Forest, Run!
When we got back to D.’s apartment I knew I had to get out of there before Saturday. So I went to see when the next train to Prague was, booked it and then emailed Plus Prague Hostel to extend my stay with 2 nights. Have to say the guys from Plus Prague are amazing: they replied immediately and helped me out, but more about Prague in the next post.
The only problem was what to tell D. about my sudden departure. So I did what any respectable person that ends up in a pornstars house would do. I lied! Told him “my boyfriend” organized a surprise weekend getaway so I had to be at the airport at 1 pm (which was the time my train left actually).
Didn’t sleep all night and the next day I was breathing again while on a beautiful train to the city of world-class architecture and beer: Prague.
- Never stay with CS in Germany again! And I say that because in Prague one of the girls at the hostel told me in Nuremberg a family with kids drugged her and stole all of her money. And I am not joking.
- Berlin hates me: everybody keeps saying Berlin is amazing. I didn’t get that vibe at all. Maybe I need to go back with friends and give it another try.
- Whenever in trouble say your bodybuilder boyfriend is going to pay you a surprise visit the next day and run as fast as you can.
- If you find yourself in an apartment with a music teacher/pornstar don’t fall asleep.
And last, but not least, if you ever go to Berlin DON’T DO what I did. It’s a shame I got this impression of Berlin.
Even though I had this experience I still managed to do a bit of sightseeing and you can read all about the cultural side of the Berlin trip in next week’s post.
A Berlin trip has to be as amazing as everybody says it is and don’t be shy to leave some tips of how a real Berlin trip should be like in the comments bellow.